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pics-by-shah

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Today I'm in a GREAT mood ! And no matter what...I wont let anyone or anything effect my happiness. This time next week I will have something that I have dreamed about for 13 years. I will be getting my own house ! Right now I'm living with people who used to be what I considered friends.. But now are enemies. They like to do immature shit to try and ruin everyone around them. As they say, misery loves company. Well... I wont let them get to me this week. Fuck em ! :D
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21

1 min read
My day is coming... But I have 21 more to wait.
Over 600 have passed... And most filled with hate.
Stress filled years... With almost nothing to soothe.
All this weight on my chest... That I'm unable to move.
Focusing on the end... Becomes harder to see.
Just 21 more days... And I'm finally free.
Just 21 more days... And my life starts anew.
Just 21 more days... And it's finally through.   
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I hate you for all the fucking stress you have added to my life. 
I hate you for the petty shit you do on a regular basis. 
I hate you for how fake you truly are.
And all your trivial bullshit.
You're a completely worthless fucking human.
And I know I should feel bad for you.
But I don't. And wont. Ever.
You deserve every single millisecond of misery that slithers into you life.
I can only hope that they are attracted to you.
And that they cling to you like leches that you can never remove.
And that they drain you of all the happiness and comfort your insignificant life has.
You already drip in misery. You fucking stink of it. 
It's why you're so fucking selfish, pathetic and rude.
I often wonder what it's like to be you. 
To be so significantly small and filled with anger and rage. 
But only because I would want it to be magnified by 10.
See, that's what would happen in a fair and just world.
For all the misery you have caused to so many other people.
You deserve that, and then some.
They say hate is a wasted emotion.
Because it's serves no purpose and makes nothing better.
That's why it's a perfect emotion for you. 
Because it's exactly what you are. Purposeless and pointless.
You worthless motherfucker... 
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My 3 year cat, Wrecks, had to get put down yesterday. We didn't know... But he had a heart condition that caused him to have fluid on the lungs. The vet said.. With aggressive treatment he could live 6 months to a year. And even that was a 50/50 shot. I can't remember when I've cried so hard. He was such a sweet boy. So loving. The vet said he was suffering and struggling to breath. I hated having to make that choice. I'm truly heart broken.. And don't know if I'll ever be ok from this. I'm trying to forget and ignore all that's happened between us, in the past 3 years. But I feel like that's so wrong to do. I should do everything I can to remember him and remember all the cute and funny things he did. But when I do, it hurts so fucking much. I'm at work as I write this... and doing all I can not to cry. But I know once I start.. its going to be a while before I stop. I'm so confused right now. And could really use some help with dealing with this.
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.. And it started with me seeing a group of, what I can only describe as, human-like men.. Surrounding a table/platform. The table/platform was about...3 feet off the floor. The men were shaped like the men we all are used to seeing. But they were different colors and had piercing evil yellow eyes. The skin of some were dark red, some were dark blue and others were a greyish color. There was about 5-6 of them. All without clothes. Suddenly I realize there is someone on the table/platform they are surrounding. A couple of the men make eye contact with me, and move aside slightly.. So I can see the person on the table. I quickly tell its a female.. and she's also completely naked. Then I realize.. She's a friend of mine.. We'll call her Stacy. Stacy appears to be concerned, but not scared. She makes eye contact with me.. and her facial expression quickly turns to confusion. As if to wonder why I'm there. I then see all the men are now staring at me. As if they were waiting for something. I had a deep feeling of negativity. This was bad, and as confused as I was... That much was clear to me. Almost as soon as I got that feeling, they all at once, redirect their attention to her. One standing at her feet, grabs both her ankles and yanks her downwards..toward him. He then hold one ankle up in the air, and one of the other men grab it. The same is done with the other ankle.. holding it up to be grabbed by another man. He then looks down with his hands in front of him. He's either messing with her pussy or his cock. Suddenly his hips thrust towards the table. I hear Stacy moan and see her toes curl. With that the other men start grabbing and groping her. As they move around, I catch glimpses of her face. She seems to be in some sort of pain, but somewhat enjoying it. They start switching places, one after another. I squint my eyes shut.. and her moans become louder and more defined as pleasure. It seemed like this dream took all night.. but that's where the dream ended. I woke up freaked out.. and have no idea what it means.
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Featured

My day is coming ! by pics-by-shah, journal

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